@AdoptionToLife, Janelle Molony, August 2019
Looking back on when my foster child was once considered “unadoptable,” I am triggered by the implications of that word. It’s too close to being used as “unlovable, unsavable, unfixable, or unwanted.” My child was none of the above. Ever.
He just wasn’t adopted yet. He wasn’t healed yet. He wasn’t stable yet. But it’s ridiculous to think that those things would have happened OUTSIDE of being in a long-term, protective and loving home. The adoption needed to happen first.
I’m reminded of Romans 5:8, “But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
We have all been in a place where we weren’t “good enough people.” We may have felt not attractive enough, healthy enough, strong enough… to be worthy of someone’s love or attention. We didn’t get the raise. We didn’t the loan. We didn’t get recognized for our effort. We didn’t start or stop something on time. Or we didn’t have enough answers.
But God didn’t say that we had to meet a specific criteria BEFORE he made the sacrifice required for us to find completeness and healing and freedom in Him. He demonstrated how we are to approach the issue of parenting children with a troubled past–just as we are His children with troubled pasts.
Like the parenting model set before us, We, as the parents, need to make the first move in the relationship. We, as the parents, provide security and safety to enable healing. We, as the parents, demonstrate forgiveness, grace, and mercy–none of which is ever “earned.” We teach. We provide. And we don’t operate under the idea of conditional love.
There is no such thing as an “unadoptable” child… other than one who is already adopted.
In that case, my son is now OFFICIALLY, unadoptable.
To stay up to date on new stories being published, be sure to subscribe to @AdoptionToLife on your preferred social media.